HOT New Martial Arts Affiliate Program - Limited Offer!!!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by SifuPhil, Apr 9, 2013.

  1. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    HOT NEW MARTIAL ARTS AFFILIATE PROGRAM !!!
    3% Commissions !!!
    3-Tier Structure !!!
    No Buy-Ins, No Cash-Outs !!!
    Unlimited Up-line Support !!!
    Unlimited Down-line Building !!!
    Dear Martial Arts Professional:​
    If you're like me, you're tired of the daily grind - teach, practice, go to competitions, promote snotty little kids, bake your boards and try to get those stains out of your dobok.​
    Well, no more!​
    Now you can get in on the GROUND FLOOR of this AMAZING new affiliate program for SifuPhil's newest training program,​
    Guru, Greatness and You
    Releasing the Martial Teacher Within You for Fun and Profit
    GuruGreatness1.png
    This ASTOUNDINGLY comprehensive course is designed specifically for teachers like YOU - teachers who have bought into the "pain/suffer/sacrifice" idea for FAR too long!​
    Isn't it time you got your just desserts ??​
    NOW YOU CAN !!!
    You might expect a course like this - authored by the AMAZING Sifu Phil, star of stage, screen and bedroom - to be FAR out of your financial reach.​
    BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG !!!
    How much would you be willing to pay to free yourself from the slavery of teaching martial arts? What would it be worth to you to become JUST LIKE SIFU PHIL - a man of substance, of power, of raw, unlimited METAPHYSICAL APPEAL and CULT-LIKE ADORATION ???​
    Would you pay $10,000 ?
    $5,000 ?
    $1, 000 ?
    Sifu Phil regularly earns these amounts for just ONE lecture !!!​
    But YOU can have the SECRETS OF MARTIAL ARTS TEACHING DOMINANCE for FAR less,​
    AND EARN COMMISSIONS WHILE YOU DO IT !!!
    For more information on this AMAZING OPPORTUNITY,​
    just enter your email address in the box below.​
    email​
    [ ]​
     

    Attached Files:

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  3. Locutus

    Locutus Your fight is futile, my hands are pounding you!

  4. JesterX

    JesterX Disciple

    WOW, You mean we can all be as awesome as SifuPhil... sign me up!
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  5. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Alright! I've already got two suc students for the course!
     
    Locutus likes this.
  6. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Make that one - somebody slipped in a fake email ... how dishonorable! :cautious:
     
    dmach and Locutus like this.
  7. DeeD

    DeeD Nak Muay

    haha
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  8. Sabomnim Dan

    Sabomnim Dan Disciple

    No one could be that awesome from one seminar.

    Sign me up twice.
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  9. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Twice?!? Wow - I'm going to have to send you Unadvertised Bonus #1:

    HOW TO BEAT CHUCK NORRIS AT HIS OWN GAME

    This 64-page report outlines a unique training regimen that will result in your becoming not only as awesome as SifuPhil, but also

    EVEN MORE AWESOME THAN CHUCK NORRIS !!!

    This report is NOT available in stores! If you don't have a beard, don't worry - Chuck has shaved his off! If you're not a super-patriot, don't fret - we've got that covered too. Included in your Bonus is a

    3"x5" AMERICAN FLAG DECAL


    that you can proudly display in your vehicle or home. Show those Commie terrorists you mean business!

    chuck norris checkmate.jpg
     
    Kevin and DeeD like this.
  10. DeeD

    DeeD Nak Muay

    :) haha love it
     
  11. Battodoka07

    Battodoka07 Warrior Monk

    How many months of payments SifuPhil? Can I trade my house for your secrets?
     
    Caneman and SifuPhil like this.
  12. Judah

    Judah fights in tights

    Ok if I sign up twice can I skip the flag? I've already got one (union jack of course) and I'm now sporting Chuck's beard, I got it on eBay for the bargain price of $999.99
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  13. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Usually the course runs 72 months (6 years), but depending upon the size and condition of your house we might be able to ramp things up a bit - let's say, 36 months. Sports cars, boats and planes are also gladly accepted and will further shorten your course time.

    Sure, you can skip the flag or give it to one of your Americaphile friends or whatever.

    You have to be careful with those eBay Chuck beards - a lot of them come from China, contain lead pigmentation and are highly flammable. It just wouldn't do The Great One justice if, in the middle of a match, your beard spontaneously erupts in a fireball.
     
    Battodoka07 and Dave76 like this.
  14. Michael Spivey

    Michael Spivey Warrior Monk

    Please sign me up!!!! I want to be awesome like YOU!!! Never once in my 47 years in the Martial Arts have I seen (well maybe once but that was in a comic book talking about kicking sand in someones face) an opportunity like this. Will I have to register my hands and maybe my big toe when I am done?
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  15. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Yes, Michael, registration of multiple body parts IS required, but it just so happens I offer a convenient and easy-to-use PRICK (Personal Registration Identity Certification Kit) for only $129.95USD (98.65 Euro, 83.49 BPS) that can help you easily accomplish this task.

    Don't delay - get your PRICK today! :angelic:
     
    Locutus likes this.
  16. JesterX

    JesterX Disciple

    So if one were to work hard; complete the course, graduate (and with a great deal of luck and folding money) actual become as awesome as SifuPhil, would it then be necessary to apply for a BIG PRICK?
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  17. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    No, the sequence would be that FIRST you'd have to get a PRICK, learn to use it properly and THEN you could take the regular 2GAY course. By the time you finish the course your PRICK will be old news - everybody that needs to will have their hands on it.

    Of course, this might be a good time to announce SHAFT - Shortened High-Achievement Focus Team. This is a group mentoring set-up that will reduce your study time by at least 50%.

    If you're interested, first you would grab your PRICK, give it a good SHAFTing and then you'll be ready to make those big bucks by being 2GAY!
     
    JesterX likes this.
  18. JesterX

    JesterX Disciple

    Oh lordy SifuPhil I just sprayed beer all over my laptop!
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  19. DeeD

    DeeD Nak Muay

    hahahha
     
    SifuPhil likes this.
  20. Judah

    Judah fights in tights

    What's BPS?
     
  21. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    British Pounds Sterling. ;)
     

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