I Am The Very Model ...

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussions' started by SifuPhil, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    In response to the request for an aria I received from dmach today ...


    I Am The Very Model of a Modern Martial Artist Type
    (apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan)


    I am the very model of a modern martial artist type
    I studied all the arts except for those that smelled of too much hype
    I know the great-grandmasters, and I quote the fights historical
    From bare-knuck tiffs to MMA, in order categorical
    I'm very well acquainted, too, with styles that are all soft and hard
    I understand the katas, and the art of how to pass the guard
    About mult'ple opponents I am teeming with a lot of news
    With many cheerful facts about that Krav Maga beloved by Jews


    I'm very good at sparring of the one- and two- and three-step kind
    I know the ways the body can affect the way we use our mind
    In short, despite discussions with percussions from the folks who gripe
    I am the very model of a modern martial artist type


    I know the martial history from the ancient times of Roman fights
    I answer complex questions, but I wonder at Savateur's tights
    I quote in all cap letters all the crimes that we defend against
    But also always say a prayer about the bad guys we dispensed
    I can tell you little diff'rences between Taiji and Taijiquan
    I know the vital strike zones and the pressure points to press upon
    Then I can sing a Buddhist chant that heaps upon Him praise galore
    And judge the fighting prowess of a guy I never met before


    Then I can write a thesis on the meaning of The Art of War
    And referee a judo match and always give the proper score
    In short, despite discussions with percussions from the folks who gripe
    I am the very model of a modern martial artist type


    In fact, when I know what is meant by "Ni hao ma" and "Hajime"
    It really doesn't matter what the rest of them have got to say
    When down the street I walk at night, aware of my environment,
    And throw a bad guy down upon the cold and hard and flat cement
    When I have learned what progress has been made in modern Wushu form
    When every white belt student looks to me to be the very norm
    In short, when I explain my view of Oriental strategy
    You'll say a martial artist never more deserved a finer gi


    For all my martial prowess, though by now I'm quite an older fart
    I still can beat the youngsters at most any type of martial art
    In short, despite discussions with percussions from the folks who gripe
    I am the very model of a modern martial artist type
     
  2. RJ Clark

    RJ Clark Tree Ninja Staff Member

    Yet another reason why there should be an Awesome! button as Like isn't enough...
     
    Dave76, dmach, Enkidu and 1 other person like this.
  3. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Awww *blush* - thanks! (y)
     
  4. dmach

    dmach Martial Archivest

    Words escape me sir. Three cheers for SifuPhil... HIP HIP HIP!!!!!
     
    SifuPhil and Zombiepig like this.
  5. SifuPhil

    SifuPhil Lucky Cat Is Lucky

    Shucks ... 'tweren't nuthin' ... *stubs toe in dirt*
     

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